So I started Frank Portman's new book, King Dork last night and then read this on his blog today:

"The sarcastic humor will appeal only to mature teens with an interest in 1960s novels, heavy metal music, oral sex, and random beatings." - VOYA

I had not idea that all of these things appealed to me, (especially the random beatings) but I am loving the book thus far so I guess I am a bit of a disturbed teenager. (Is it wrong though to love 1960s novels, heavy metal and oral sex? Isn't that kind of what everyone should love?) Even though I was never a boy laboring under a horrible nickname with a dream of forming a metal band, I did have my share of phys ed nightmares (although mine occurred in junior high), and I certainly saw a lot of high school insanity (and even more junior high insanity).

In other words, I know where this kid comes from.

I don't understand how anyone could not be in love with the bands that Portman mentions in the story. (In fact I think Portman has been looking at our CD collection over here, and I must say, as someone who grew up in Florida, Jimmy Buffet is the best music for a bright summer day on the beach. Go ahead and hate me for being a parrothead Portman - I can take it!!!)

Okay, I feel better now. But really where else are you going to find a contemporary YA novel that centers on Catcher in the Rye and refers to Highway to Hell, "Sweet Home Alabama" and Quadrophenia and also....wait for it....

He drops in a reference to Encyclopedia Brown on page 61.

I mean please - major rock bands (and I don't think you can count The Who as a heavy metal band - aren't they a rock band? Is Tommy called a metal opera? No - it's a rock opera! So take that VOYA!), the best juvenile detective to come out of the 1960s, and some major busting on high school teachers and classwork. It's all here people and so far, it's all coming together beautifully.

This book just might be the kind of life changing reading experience that discontented teenagers all over America have been waiting for. Of course I'm only partway through so I can't swear to it, but King Dork definitely has me laughing and loving it so far. I doubt that I'm Frank Portman's target audience but still, if his book can make me remember my pissed off teenage years then just imagine how well it will resonate with the kids who don't have waste time remembering. They're going to eat this novel up with a spoon, I just know it.

Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go blast some Zepplin for my four year old. I feel it is important to start him on the right musical path while he's young.