I think I am losing my mind.

My husband asked me today ifI had rewritten the problematic chapter in my AK flying book and I haven't yet. I also haven't reworked another chapter for a stand alone story for Storyglossia either. And I haven't worked on the dragon book in a week.

What the hell have I been doing?

I'm going to FL for a couple of weeks next Tuesday, taking the 4 year old along to see family and friends. And I want to have as much as possible for Bookslut done before I go. My column is done, but not my reviews and not my feature submission. And I am struggling mightily with the August column - I can't seem to focus on whether it should be about sci fi/fantasy or historical fiction or an odd collection of books about bookish girls that seem to keep coming across my desk.

I hate not having a plan for a column. (And yes, I know it is for August which means I have like 5 weeks but I have to haul the books down there I plan to read so I really need to focus on a theme.)

The problem is that FL will involve lots of visiting and swimming and beaching and my son is going to be all out of wack and as his father is staying here, I'll be dealing with his weirdness which will translate into not sleeping like he should, eating like he should or acting like he should.

And I know I'm not going to get done the stuff I need to get done. I really wanted the dragon book to be further along (I'm at 30,000 words or around halfway - maybe less) and it is annoying beyond belief that I'm not where I want to be with it. I'm not struggling for ideas, I'm struggling for quiet time to get it written.

Frustrated, I'm so enormously frustrated.

At the same time though, I'm hearing from tons of publishers who are thrilled with my reviews and want to know what else they can do to get certain books my way. I'm hearing from authors I mention at this site who are excited to hear my opinions and I have just gotten the best interview with Caroline Petit on The Fat Man's Daughter. (Also some great answers from Sara Gran.)

Oh yeah - need to have a review for Stories That Care Forgot off to Voices of NOLA before I go or I know I will forget everything I planned to write.

All of this is my own self-induced pressure although as my husband said, 'how can I expect my agent to get right back to me if I don't do rewrites in a timely manner?' And I want to fix that chapter - I know what I need to do to fix that chapter - but it isn't happening fast enough.

I forgot to eat dinner tonight. How do you do that? (The child was fed and happy so please don't worry about him.)

Tomorrow things will be accomplished. The last of the submissions for the Review Section of the summer issue of Eclectica will be on their way to my Editor. And I will work on the NOLA review. Those are the easiest things I need to do, but still important. So those I will do. And after that, the Storyglossia fix. And then - and then - back to AK flying and dragons. I am really going to go nuts if I don't get back to that stuff soon.

More sanity tomorrow - I promise!