In some ways I think this is the worst time for a writer - when the book has been sent off to agent for the passing around to editors and you sit and wonder if anyone will like it. It is so easy, when you are writing but not showing it to anyone, or when you have written it but can't get an agent, or when you have an agent but can't get an editor to consider even reading it, to blame the fact that the book is not published on everyone else. You can say it is wonderful and it's just so damn hard to break into the business and if you were famous this would be easy.

It's just not your fault.

But right now, if the book comes back to me, then really, it is only because of the writing; because it just does not work.

Is it any wonder I've taken up running to distract myself? (And yes, Day 2, Week 2 went off without a hitch. I am not dead yet.)

I am also wondering if it was wise to decide to read books of political significance in one big lump because I'm getting more than a bit disturbed, distraught and depressed by all of it. From what I've seen, I do agree with Al Gore's latest statement and think it is time to get off of our collective butts and stop using old solutions for our problems. I'm not saying it's going to be easy but I was floored to discover the other day that Linfen City, China one of the "dirtiest places" in the world - 25% of California's air pollution comes from that city alone - and get this: 25% of the manufacturing in Linfen City is for the U.S.

We would not let Americans live that way; we have laws to prevent Americans living that way, but because the Chinese government will happily pollute the people of Linfen City and the planet then we happily let them do it in the name of cheap crap. We also want our palm oil in every single thing (dish detergent - why is everyone not using coconut based dish detergent?) so goodbye Borneo forest and well - you get the idea. I read about Africa and find out that yes, corruption is a huge problem but it is not solely an African problem, that every Western nation involved in African politics (and yes, we are all involved) are also involved in propping up the corrupt systems. When you consider the transfer of wealth from Africa to the west - a transfer that has continued unabated since slavery - then you wonder how in the hell anyone can buy a diamond ring.

And don't even get me started on the two Iraq War books I'm finishing up.

I understand, after immersing myself in foreign policy problems, environmental problems, domestic security problems and issues of class disparity in the U.S., that reading about all of these subject will literally suck the happy out of your summer. They aren't easy. But also I can't help but think that our continued willful ignorance of all of these issues is what has brought us to the current state of affairs we find ourselves in.

T. Boone Pickens is turning his back on oil, people. You know there are some major changes afoot.

Next week is all about controversies in the YA and children's book world. On one day I will wonder why so many books foster fantasy images of life rather than covering realistic lifestyles - why celebrate living rich instead of living wise?

And August is all about politics. I'll be here - hope you are too.

[Post pic: surviving the great outdoors in Linfen City.]