This entry has spoilers........

I finally got around to reading Special Topics in Calamity Physics by Marisha Pessl in the last week and I have to say that it was one of the most frustrating books I've read in a long time. I was sorely tempted just to quit - honestly I wanted to just quit it several times - but the mystery that Pessl dangles in the opening chapter about the suicide of "Hannah" kept me going. Through all the witty asides - through the endlessly witty asides - I kept reading to see just what the hell happened to Hannah. After awhile I really didn't like Blue (the protagonist) or any of the kids she hung out with (none of whom liked Blue much either) or Hannah or Blue's father who has to be one of the fakest characters ever created in fiction.

I'm sorry - I don't care how much of a literature snob you are, no one talks like that man.

But I persevered to see why Hannah died and how it affected Blue. And then I got to the end and WHAT THE HELL?!!! That is how it ends? It's a camping trip and then a rewrite of the history of The Weathermen and that's it? We go from teen angst to leftover 1960s melodrama? (And I'm talking serious melodrama; it's unprecedented melodrama.) What a bad ending - what a crazy, unsupportable, insane ending. But beyond that, completely ignoring the ending, I still have issues with this book. Remove all the snarky asides and many many (many many) literary references and you've still got some serious plot issues. At first I liked the references that Blue makes for literally everything but after awhile that did get old. I can see how some people would enjoy them however, so that's fine - something different that might appeal more to some readers than others but [relatively] easy to ignore. But the story itself is another matter; let's consider the story.

In the beginning we have the death bombshell and then the book moves back in time to the set up for that death. Fair enough. But the book quickly descends into the story of teenage school dramarama which, quite frankly, a lot of other authors have done a lot better. We are supposed to believe that Blue is a brilliant teenager (hence all those literary references) but she still falls for the quick appeal of the school's cool kids and is willing to be psychologically abused by them (ignored, made fun of, made to feel stupid) on a weekly basis because....well, that's the problem. Why in the hell does Blue put up with these jerks? I can see getting fooled once and thinking they like her but once you work out that they are the school's mean girls (girls and guys but you get the point) then any smart teen would be done. If you want to play Harmony to Pessl's Cordelia then that is one thing but Blue is not, in any way shape or form, set up to be Harmony and this crew sure as hell ain't Cordelia (say what you want but at least she came through when it all went to hell - these kids are too busy being drunk to be redeemable). So readers have to believe that Blue just keeps hanging out with them, getting wasted with them, dressing up like them and basically lying to her father on a daily basis to be with them just cause.

Okay that really did not work for me.

For the entire book I kept trying to figure out why on earth Blue would fall for Jade and her friends. Just to impress school teacher Hannah who seemed to love these kids so much? But why? Why wasn't she making friends with some normal kids in the school - with other bright articulate kids (all of whom seem to be absent from this high school). And then I got a sneaking suspicion - Blue wasn't acting like any smart kid I have ever known (in the history of the world) because this book was not written by a former smart teen. This book was written by a mean girl and Blue is how the mean girls of the world think the smart girls of the world think and act.

In other words, Marisha Pessl wrote a stupid smart girl who acted totally against all of her instincts because mean girls think any smart girl (or boy) would do that to be one of them - even when you treat them like dirt in the process.

I asked a friend of mine recently if mean girls know they are mean girls. (She used to be a ballet dancer and later teacher so she has been around all sorts of teen girls for years.) She said yes they do - the problem is they don't realize how mean they are. So maybe Marisha Pessl doesn't realize how loathsome the teens are that she writes about in Special Topics - or more importantly how unlikely it is that any self-assured kid would hang in there with them for so long. (Or that she would lie to her father who she loves, or fall for the false magnetism of a teacher that everyone collectively agrees is batty as hell just because these cool kids like her.) Maybe Pessl just wanted to play a joke - a smartly crafted and unique joke but a joke nonetheless. This is what she thinks of everyone who gets all those literary references she piles on in the text - we think we're so smart when we read the book but she thinks we're just stupid.

Not so nice a read now, is it?

In the end I see Special Topics in Calamity Physics as cake - really big, really expensive, really impressive over-the-top cake. But there's a trick here because it is only on the surface that it looks good. Reach inside, cut it deep and you won't find any filling - it's just piles and piles of sticky sweet icing. There's no substance to this story and in the end, it leaves you feeling just a little bit sick.

Blue should have ditched them on day 1. That's what any true self respecting smart girl would do every time.