
I am trying to like Jack Kerouac. It shouldn't be this hard really as we have a lot in common. His family emigrated from Quebec to the mill town of Lowell, Massashusetts in the 1920s. My father's family emigrated from a small town in Quebec for the mill town in Woonsocket, Rhode Island in the 1920s (or possibly a little earlier I'm not 100% on the year yet). He spoke French at home (learned English at age six) and also wrote in French. My father, the first one born in the US, spoke French at home, and was actually known as "The Frenchman" in high school. Kerouac was Catholic, something he alternately embraced and fought against his entire life. Anyone who was raised Catholic will understand that. He dreamed of something more, namely being a writer, and left Lowell for college (where he did not do well) and then the military (ditto) and then a lot of wild adventures with Neal Cassady (okay I have no frame of reference for the Cassady adventures but the rest makes sense).
My father left Woonsocket a week after his 17th birthday which was also a week after he graduated from high school, for the military (college was out of his financial reach). He did fine in the military but did not find what he was looking for there other than a wife and the hope for the American dream. He really needed a road trip with Neal Cassady perhaps, but whatever. You get my point. Kerouac's people were my people and so I should totally get him. There should be some inner connection with his writing, some immediate recognition with his protagonists and yet....
I'm not feeling it; I'm not feeling it one single bit.
I've read nonfiction about Kerouac in the past and between the French Canadian connection and the alcoholism I totally understand where he was coming from. (The alcoholism stems from the Irish side of my family - I don't think my French grandfather ever had a beer let alone a drinking problem.) But I've never understood why so many young men in particular wanted to emulate him, especially the frenetic insanity of On the Road. I get the dream of a road trip (I did a few in my day) and I understand that the book broke some barriers with its spontaneously written format but how on earth Sal and Dean's (aka Kerouac and Neal Cassady) fractious relationship could possibly have inspired anyone makes no sense to me at all. They went back and forth across country for reasons that elude me, broke hearts in particularly cruel ways (especially Dean/Neal to include the long suffering mother of his children) and didn't seem to accomplish much of anything at all. The sheer amount of energy it requires to be that kind of irresponsible for years eludes me. They had to have all been manic depressive or bipolar or something.
There isn't enough alcohol in the world to fuel that much crazy, I promise.
I have, with great determination, made it through On the Road and I still can not see how it made anyone want to chuck it all and drive to California (or New York or New Orleans or Tucson). There is an element of the equation I'm missing (perhaps that I am not a disaffected young man eager to chuck it all). I suppose it is the sheer mania of what they did and how they lived that is so appealing; that they did drive cross country on a whim, that jobs and family (let alone careers) were never a concern, that relationships were built and destroyed in seconds. Sometimes it was all about sex and sometimes it was all about liquor and sometimes it was all about driving fast. And never was it about anything else. I suppose those can be the stuff that dreams are made of, if transitory dreams are what you are looking for.
I have enjoyed my fair share of diversionary books but honestly this one just doesn't do it for me. I love a good road trip, I have reveled in my fair share of irresponsibility and sometimes every single one of us just wants the moment and not a single blasted thing beyond that freaking moment. But with Jack Kerouac? Honestly? I've gotta say I just don't see it. Which means it will be a lot of fun to dissect as I write about it but still. He was one screwed up French Canadian fella, that's for sure. And I'm sorry but nobody got personal fulfillment on those trips - they got loaded, they got laid and they got pissed off but personal fulfillment? I don't think so and trying to say they did is just wish fulfillment on the part of a lot of literary bad boy wannabes.
It was running away, plain and simple. Which makes me wonder if that is all some people truly seek. They just want to run away forever but wrap it up in something bigger so maybe they don't feel so guilty or, perhaps even worse, so they don't feel so small.
Of course it says something that Kerouac settled down and took care of his mother until he literally drank himself to death. He was trying to come home again, he just didn't know how. As my father's daughter that is something I understand completely which is why I have a soft spot for the author in spite of everything. And even though I don't want to follow him anywhere, not even for a moment of transitory pleasure.


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October 27
2009
09:58 AM
I've never been a huge fan of the beat generation either, though I've tried and tried. I've read them all at various stages of life - Ginsburg, Keroac and Burroughs. There's also an interesting memoir "Off the Road" by Caroline Cassady. From my reading the members of that group have all come across as a.- incredibly sexist and b.- addicts. Everything in between those two things seems to have been romanticized because of their immersion into the 60's-70's counterculture. I think their writing has become completely enmeshed in their legend - and because of that its' literary importance has been inflated. In fairness, I feel the same way about Bloomsbury.
But then I doubt I'm the target audience of On the Road.
The one exception I've come across is Anatole Broyard's memoir "Kafka was the Rage". It was incredibly funny, well-written, entertaining and feels authentic; without being self-indulgent. I recommend it highly!
So, don't feel bad for not being able to appreciate the beats... I think that's happened to more people than are willing to admit it!